Rainy Saturdays get me down.

rain

The weather today sucks, and I can feel it in my joints. As soon as it stops raining, my knee starts swelling up again. It’s the damnedest thing. I am in a lot of pain today. 😦

I decided I should take my HCTZ since I know the Lisinopril is working now. Consequently, I have to pee about every 68 seconds. That would be fine, if I weren’t gimping around my house like I am.  Since the hysterectomy, I’ve developed stress incontinence. That’s why I haven’t been taking the Hydrochlorothiazide in the first place – it takes me so long to limp to the bathroom, I’m afraid I’ll pee my pants! So I decided that for now, I’ll take it on weekends when I don’t have to worry about peeing my pants at work, just home. Lord. Thankfully, my blood pressure was 150/82 at Dr. Ali’s during my workup, which is a far cry from the 210/102 it was in the ER a few weeks ago.

And I knew that surgery was not an inexpensive undertaking, but the more I think about all this, the more worried I get. (And that isn’t even taking into account the Out of Network deductible business.) This isn’t cheap. The protein shakes I have to take (one a day) are not inexpensive, nor are they easy to drink. Yesterday, it took over an hour to get it down, and I got nauseous about half an hour after I finished it . I don’t own a blender, so I’m going to have Tori pick up a cheap one at today when she picks up some groceries for me, so I can try and figure out a way to make protein shakes of my own that I can actually get down without gagging. I’m also going to have her pick up a food scale, which I need for the diet. Maybe I’ll hit the lottery one of these days and I won’t have to worry about any of the monetary issues.

That’s another thing. My 18 year old is living with me because with my knee being so bad, I can’t do the basement stairs to do laundry. Hell, I can’t even walk through the grocery store to get my own damned groceries!

Yes, I am fully aware that this whole blog has been whiny bitchfest. I don’t care. I know I’m feeling sorry for myself, and I know I can’t do it forever, but this has been my first down day in weeks, so I think I can day off from shiny, happy, perky.

Let’s hope tomorrow is a much, much better day.

Linda

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5 Comments

  1. Whiny bitchy is OK! It allows you the time to actually get mad at your situation BUT (yes sorry there IS a but) you need to move on from that ‘temporary’-stage’ situation and use that anger to motivate you forward, towards what you know in your heart you want to achieve! UNLESS you do this you risk the opposite of happening and eventually (by not moving past the ‘whiny-bitchy’) fall into to despair.

    So Linda, go ahead and get the ‘whiny-bitchness’ out of you SO THAT in its place – over the next few days – you’ll be able to see the light shine through the clouds again AND before you know it you’ll not only be back on the ‘high’ track; you’ll be moving even closer to the goal you’ve set for yourself.

    Warmest ryG 👍

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Linda…. We all deserve a bitchfest. No worries! Yes, it is financially challenging… But holy hell, the pay off! I am SO friggin happy!! I am not yet two weeks out and no edema in my feet/calves, no heel pain when I get up to walk, and my blood sugar is perfect.😍😍
    I have been on nothing but protein shakes and liquids for 16 days now and I just as soon starve myself silly than to drink another shake… But I’m doing it! I gag and wretch through them some days… But I’m doing it! Monday I get to have puréed foods!🙏🏼👼🏼👍🏼 I swear, the Angels will sing on that day!!!😂 but given all that, I NEVER regret my choice. By far, best thing I’ve ever done for me.❤️ hang tough sista!!! You’ll get there!!!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. It’s ok to have bad days, it’s what makes us all human…..keeping things inside is never good so let it all out and we are here to support you and help lift you up to brighter days ahead! Big hugs and there is happier days for you! Yeah I have debt now with school but think of it this way, it’s never going with us so live life to the fullest and do what makes us happy!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You are you- always have been! We all have bad days, but this wouldn’t be a good blog if you weren’t honest. Think of how good it will feel to reflect on this post a year from now when you are able to be independent.

    Chin up, chest out, moving on to another day. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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